Bittersweet Melodies
by sawMEin2
Summary: AU- Marceline tries to cope with the untimely death of Bonnie letting suppressed memories come to the surface.


First Fanfic, Marceline mourns over the Tragic death of her lover Bonnible.

The song is "You" bu Amy Lee.

I own neather the song or the Show Adventure time

bitter sweet melodies.

The cracked leather was somehow comforting as I at sat in front of an old, paint chipped piano. It had been some time since the last time I've played there.

Or at all.

My dull eyes scanned the dimly lit bar, meandering from face to face, regulars who never pay much mind. This bar has fallen from its past glory, the night time hottest music venue, is now a solitary sulking bar, where strangers drink away there sorrows. I run my hands lazily over the keys, smiling softly to myself.

Waiting.

I sat and waited, sad? Hopeful? That the short woman would slide beside me whispering sweet nothings as I played; waited for the sweet jasmine to fill my nose, waited for warm hands to meet my own… waiting to hear a beating heart? Perhaps even in my own chest. But I wait in vain, like for summer to never come, to stay in that warm apartment as the snow storm raged on, crystalized in that moment, before she got sick… before the beginning of the end.

When we were happy.

When I was happy…

I was happy then.

The woman with dark bags under her eyes, and ragged unkempt hair, the woman I became, began to play, the bittersweet melodies of a lost time.

slowly…

softly…

carefully touching each key with tenderness and care.

…_**The words have been drained from this pencil  
Sweet words that I want to give you  
And I can't sleep  
I need to tell you  
Goodnight…**__  
_

The bitter sweet lyrics softly escaped my lips.

…_**When we're together, I feel perfect  
When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart  
All you say is sacred to me …**__  
_

The stone hearted, allusive, dark haired vixen, was tamed, and would only answer to that perfect girl.

She was perfect…

Well perfect to me.

Everything I ever needed in her life perfect.

…_**Your eyes are so blue  
I can't look away  
As we lay in the stillness  
You whisper to me…**_

I could never say no. Never to her. Only to her. That short, quaky, girl whose smile could get her out of anything. The smile that a young musician playing another late night set, saw across the bar, and lingered, getting lost in those eyes, only a winter ago... Only a winter….

…_**Marcy, marry me  
Promise you'll stay with me…**_

"_Marry me. Stay with me forever, let's go and see the world, I am already in love with all the people I have never met and places I have never seen. Let's go. The when the summer comes let's just leave. The young American Dream baby! Marry me and fuck the rest! Marry me and love me until our last breaths! Live, in the moment, and kiss the stars with me." _

My own heart shatter inside my chest, crunching, breaking glass, each peace cutting deeper every minute she is not breathing, until only a shell remains. I only have a void, a deep cavernous void where a beating heart should be. The tears began to cascade down my cold pail cheeks.

…_**Oh you don't have to ask me  
You know you're all that I live for**_

_**You know I'd die just to hold you  
Stay with you…**_

_Flowers hidden behind my back as I danced into the room, the plane tickets burned inside my pocket, a surprise for my lover, was well worth the wait. I tip toed around our apartment, while the strawberry blond was probably in the kitchen making sweets as usual with the radio blasting._

_Strutting into the room, "Honey we made it, we can go nex-"Something's wrong. The charred burn smell hit my nose hard, the blender going around and around, the whirling sound throbbing in my ears. Something's wrong._

_The flowers drop on to the floor silently as I began to panic frantically running from room to room. "BONNI?"_

_A muffled grown came from the master bath. "BONNI!" _

_I found Bonni…. She was barely conscious, sprawled out on the bathroom floor, clutching her stomach, her face contorted in un explainable pain._

"_BONNI!" _

_It took ten minutes for the paramedics to come. Ten minutes holding her in her arms rocking back and forth, the singing softly as if the songs would somehow help the girl who was coughing up crimson drops on my white button up. Ten minutes there world _is nothing. Flowers and tickets and dreams left on the floor, the blender going round, and round and round.

The music began to swell, and my hands began to tremble, as if each note would be my last. I threw my head back, the music consuming the corners of my thoughts of cold white washed walls, and wilted dying flowers.

The steady beep… beep… beep…

The metallic smell, and horrid cold metdeval machines. "Don't leave me" I whispered at her bed side. "I can't do this alone, not anymore…" She smiled before emitting a deep grown, it death on my lovers lips. Her body writhed in spasmick seizures, screaming.

I still have nightmares of her screaming…

Doctors running franticly into the room, pushing me out the door, she was gone even before I had a chance to say something, anything. She left. She left me here because I wasn't strong enough.

…_**Somehow I'll show you  
That you are my night sky …**__  
_

The charade faded into my music. Finally submitting into reality. Reality that she is DEAD.

Dead and never coming back.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Couldn't save her. Couldn't do a god damned thing. But watch. Sit there and watch her slowly, agonizingly slow fade into wires, tubes. Trapped in that room staring out a window, waiting for that last thing; that final breath to exhale from her thin pale lips. Everyone knew it was coming, swiftly, in just 3 months the woman who danced through life with a wide grin, was reduced to a hospital bed, fragile, hanging on by a thread, even she knew it was coming and accepted it.

But not the one who would have to live on, each day monochromatic skies rolled past, if I didn't say it, wouldn't happen. Keep speaking of tomorrow Marceline… I told myself, "and tomorrow will come. Don't cry. Don't let her see. It will be just fine.

…_**I've always been right behind you  
Now I'll always be right beside you…**_

My heart, my soul, pour out in a flood of emotion, that I never let go. I cried alone, broke down alone. Wanting to call Bonnibel on the phone to talk about this terrible loneliness growing in my chest that I had never felt before. The blond had opened everything up wide open, open for only her deep blue eyes to see. And no one else.

Solemn in my grieving, or so they said.

I became so cold they told me. Colder than I ever was before Her. The cards and dead flowers of condolences piled up at the door. "Sorry for your loss" If they only knew, she was the only thing that prevented me from drowning, from submersing under the murky deep water of her thoughts.

Do they realize the only shred of passion-love-humanity within in me, died along with that bright eyed woman?

…_**So many nights I cried myself to sleep  
Now that you love me, I love myself…**_

There were no more defenses here, tears hidden behind plastered smiles, all those nights falling asleep with a personal antithetic, cradling a bottle in my palm, everything could be pulled out. Suppressed memories bubbled over, as I continued to sing.

…_**I never thought I would say this  
I never thought there'd be…  
**_

In that bar, the back of that filthy dark bar, I said the things that could never be said, to other lonely, intoxicated strangers. It ended in broken silent sobs. No one came to console me, no one saw, the cracked, broken, girl.

_**You….**_

Tears flowing down my face I stood up and walked into the sick reality, I find myself waking up to each day. A drag of a cigarette escapes my lips exhaling into the cold, unforgiving night as I slowly stagger to an empty home, and another dreamless night. I walk into greyer tomorrow only to find myself once again…

Alone.


End file.
